Every marketing guru constantly throws around the letters SEO. We know it means Search Engine Optimization, but that’s not exciting. What if SEO meant something else?
We’ve come up with several alternate definitions you can use to build your business a better, less boring way. After all, it’s good to think outside the box, right?
1. Shrek, Emotional Ogre
We know what you’re thinking. What does a kid’s movie have to with building my business?
First a history lesson: In the classic film “Shrek”, Mike Meyers takes on the role of a bitter, reclusive ogre. Shrek has no friends, and no one likes him. But, as the film progresses, Shrek becomes more and more in touch with his emotions. This allows him to open up to his new best friend Donkey, find love with Fiona, and gain plenty of loyal acquaintances in the process.
SEO could mean Shrek, Emotional Ogre, because if you can be a little bit more like Shrek, customers will flock to you, instead of away from you.
2. See Elephants Occasionally
Sometimes we get busy. We live in a fast paced world, and everyone is in a race to the finish line.
We go about our days thinking of things like marketing, growing our visibility on search engines, driving traffic to our websites, and creating engaging content that will boost our business online, but all too often we forget about elephants! It’s for this reason that I suggest SEO refers to See Elephants Occasionally.
Elephants are just so cool, and they have important lessons to teach business owners. Elephants are both big and tough, while maintaining a cute appeal; they’re very intelligent, yet they know when to have fun. And they have tusks! When you get caught up in the stresses of maintaining a business in 2019, just remember: See Elephants Occasionally.
3. Seriously Exclude Obscenities
Swearing, cursing, and cussing have no place in the marketing world. You’re trying to build a friendly brand and if you’re using obscenities it could seriously hurt your business. Bad words are just that: bad. Unless you’re in the business of hurting people’s feelings you should Seriously Exclude Obscenities!
4. Strawberries Equal Outreach
Strawberries are a really tasty food. This might be the best business advice anyone ever came up with.
If you start to offer strawberries as a part of your business strategy you are sure to see customers coming back time and time again. It’s just something about how naturally sweet they are that shows people that your business is one they can trust.
Invest in some strawberries and start sending them out to your client list. If you have a brick and mortar storefront, keep a bowl up by the register. If you have an online shopping option, throw a handful in with every package. And, for even better results, try covering your strawberries in chocolate; this is a surefire way to impress.
5. Submarines Establish Oomph
If you have any resources, go ahead and allocate them towards the purchase of a brand new submarine. You may be wondering, why do I need a submarine? It’s obvious, Submarines Establish Oomph.
Take a minute, close your eyes, and think about them for a minute. What do you see? Just an incredible human invention, a complex piece of machinery that allows us to travel not just on the water, but under it! Submersible watercraft are just about the coolest vehicles in the world.
Now imagine a submarine with your business’s name painted on the side. It would be so cool! It would be the definition of oomph. Get a submarine today and start seeing results that dive deep.
6. Spontaneous Engagement Overseas
If you get overwhelmed, taking a vacation to clear your head can be the best thing for your business, and a trip to Europe would be a great way to give yourself a break. Uh oh, you’re engaged! You met an enchanting Spaniard that you couldn’t resist.
It looks like now you’re going to have to get married. This might seem like more responsibility that you have to try to balance with starting a business, but fear not. Spontaneous engagement overseas will actually help you create a multicultural voice for your company. It’s important that you have a great understanding of many different cultures, and your new fiance will be an incredible asset!
7. Salmonella Egg Omelet
We’re not sure this one is related to business, but it is super important that your cook your eggs thoroughly. A runny egg can be the best thing in the morning, but you don’t want to run the risk of creating a Salmonella Egg Omelet. An omelet like this will kill your business before it’s even started!
8. Smart Email Openings
Emails can be so boring, but with a Smart Email Opening you will catch the eye of anyone on your mailing list.
Don’t start you emails with something lame like “Hello” “Greetings” or “Salutations”. Try smart openings like “FIRE!” “Your screening results” or “You’re wanted by the FBI”!
These email headings will grab your reader’s attention, and while you might sacrifice a bit of trust in your customer/business relationship we think it’s worth it!